Subject 19 by Todd Young

Author:Todd Young
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay, lgbt, young love, gay erotica, gay romance, mm romance, coming out, gay love, gay teen, medical fetish, gay mm, gay medical fetish

Chapter 45

When Lauren left she pulled the door shut behind her. It whined and thunked.

Joel glared at it.

So, no food, he thought. Were they going to starve him? Had he agreed to that?

Lauren had read his diary. And after she read it she said she was going to prescribe him five milligrams of risperidone, to be taken nightly, though she said she wanted to begin by giving him five milligrams now. And there would also be some diazepam, she said.

“What will that do?”

“What?”

“The diazepam?”

“It will help calm you down.”

“But I feel calm.”

“I think it will help, Joel.”

He nodded.

“So, do you agree to take the medication?”

“What if I don’t?”

She took a breath. “Honestly, Joel, if you’re not prepared to take the risperidone, then I’m going to prescribe an injection of chlorpromazine.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s an antipsychotic. Something a little stronger. All I can say is that if it were me, I’d take the risperidone.”

He nodded. “Are you going to hold me down and inject me with the chlorpromazine?”

“If we have to.”

“I didn’t think you were like that.”

“I’m a doctor, Joel.”

“What sort of doctor does that to a person?”

“Someone who’s doing their best. Someone who’s trying to help in the only way they know how.”

“Have you been injected with chlorpromazine?”

“No.”

“Have you taken risperidone?”

“No.”

“Well, how do you know what it does, then?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you’re going to give it to me anyway?”

“It’s the only thing I know, Joel.”

It occurred to him that nothing mattered. He thought of Steve and of how they had held him down and pumped a syringe into his ass. In a moment he had been gone, knocked cold. Wouldn’t that be preferable?

“Did they give Steve chlorpromazine?”

“Steve?”

“The black guy.”

“No.”

“What was that?”

“What?”

“What they gave him.”

“Haloperidol.”

“Can I have some of that?”

“No, Joel.”

He shut his eyes and saw white pinpoints of light floating in a kaleidoscopic swirl. The thought of suicide occurred to him. “Can I please have something to eat?” he said.

“Joel, I’ll get you something just as soon as you give me an answer.”

“An answer?”

“Are you prepared to take the risperidone?”

“Whatever.”

“And you’re happy to take the diazepam too?”

“Why should it matter?”

“It matters a lot, Joel.”

There was a long silence. Lauren opened his diary and frowned at it again. “You know,” she said, closing it, but marking the place with her finger. “If you could manage it, Joel, I’d really like you to try and write a little more in your diary. I know I said you could simply write a sentence, but it might help you to organize your thoughts if you wrote them down. I’d like you to try and record the day as it happens.”

“I’m reading Mansfield Park,” Joel said.

“Oh, yes. Well that’s positive.”

“I’ve almost finished it.”

Lauren nodded.

“It’s a novel about incest,” he said.

“Incest?”

“Yep.”

“I thought it was a romance.”

“Well, it is, but it’s a pretty strange romance. My Fanny wants to marry her brother.”

“Your fanny?”

“Yes.”

“They leave her alone in a wilderness, in a type of walled garden, and everyone gets out except her. She’s stuck there, like she’s in a prison, and she never gets to see the avenue of limes.

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